In Memory of Peter Hartmann

I got a call last night from Marvin, a guy I used to work with at Gringer and Sons, the appliance store in NYC. 

A fellow coworker, Peter suddenly passed away. I would have said unexpectedly, but his lifestyle warranted an early end - it was just unknown as to when. You see, Peter was a drug addict. Peter probably didn't get an obituary or funeral, so I am writing this in remembrance of him.

Until I moved to NYC, I had never met a heroin addict at least not that I knew of and especially a functional one. Peter was my assistant manager. He was a patient guy, always helping me with my naive and stupid mistakes because I was new. He covered for everyone, taking the brunt and working hard to make sure the store was running smoothly. He was very good at what he did. 

One day, I noticed an odd look in his eye and a friend at work confided to me that Peter had a heroin problem. At first, I was in disbelief but later the slight warning signs started to appear. He would nod often, he always wore long sleeves - never showing his arms, he would spend a long time in the bathroom at the same times everyday and the list went on. I was shocked and grieved - my eyes were opened to a dark side of life and an everyday reality for some. 

Peter was an only child. His mother raised him with the assistance of his grandparents, because his biological father was a supposedly evil man in which she stayed away from. Not knowing his father and what knowledge he did have of his father left a big gaping hole in his life. A hole he unknowingly tried for years to fill. 

Peter had a common law wife of many years, Nancy. They did drugs together too. He and Nancy had a little girl, Melanie. Peter did everything in his power to be a good dad to his daughter. and was very involved in her life. He told me once, he was making up for the Dad he thought should have been there for him.

Peter's addiction worsened over the years that we worked together and it eventually took more and more control of his life. He started to slip and eventually fell. He was fired because of his sometimes erratic and irresponsible behavior. He had been with the company for many, many years.

There were times I wanted to tell him about the way out- Jesus Christ and eventually I did. I would pray for him often, even waking up in the middle of the night burdened for his soul.

Unfortunately, he found no way out and it eventually led to his death. 

On January 19th, Peter was found unconscious and later dead in his jail cell. 

He died alone.

There are many Peters in this world, whether we we realize it or not. 

Hurting with intense inner turmoil and pain, turning to a drug or another vice to mask the pain - only for the drug to take control and bring destruction.

Ask God to open your eyes to see what's around you. I don't know if I could have prevented Peter's untimely death, but I do think sometimes I wished I could've done more.

God might use you to reach out and prevent another "Peter" to spiral downward to ultimate destruction and death.